I am not sure if things happen exactly as I want them to, or if things happen the way they happen and I convince myself that it is what I wanted.  Either way, it works out pretty well. So, life is good.  People are great (or not, and you get a chance to learn something about who you don’t want to be), the world is beautiful and I am happy happy happy.  I think that being busy really helps me to be happy.  I don’t like being overwhelmed, but I definitely like having a lot to keep up with.  Maybe having a lot going on, a lot of people coming and going, a lot of activities and opportunities is fun because it gives me so much to be grateful for.  When things are busy and complicated and bursting at the seems, if something goes wrong or goes off track (as it inevitably will) it isn’t that big of a deal because something else will immediately...

Oscar Wilde (and a whole slew of other people) said, “Be yourself.  Everyone else is already taken.”  Seems simple enough, maybe I should give it a try.  I find it interesting that in almost any challenging social situation the first piece of advice I am given is “be yourself!”  It was not until recently that I realized that being myself was optional, that I could actually maintain a state of non-self (not in the enlightened way) for so long. It takes a strong will of personality to maintain your self despite influence and pressure from the world outside, but I always considered myself to be have a strong will.  I am aware that it is a point of contention as to whether or not my will of personality should be encouraged, actually.  But still, I am realizing that I had slipped;  I had begun to lose whatever it was that made me...

After years of teaching, it feels selfish to refuse.  It feels selfish to allow myself time to learn for the sake of learning, greedy even.  Learn because I want to know the answer, not because I want to teach the answer to someone else.  But I can’t face a life being so distracted by teaching that I forget that I still have to learn. To make the mistake of thinking that I know “enough.”  I don’t really think I am at risk for such a problem.  Not everyone is as lucky as me; I am aware of what a bumbling dope I am.  But, still.  I was trying to teach when I knew that I didn’t know anything.  I was teaching more than I was learning and it made me unhappy.  So, now I can be selfish and take the time to learn.  So how do you go about deciding that the best thing you can do is be selfish? Isn’t the whole basis for happiness...