“there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun” -Chris McCandless
It seems that every time I start to think about blogging again someone pops in my life to tell me that they miss my blog. so, Mattheus, this one’s for you.
Each time I think about blogging I think, I have nothing to say! I’ll wait until I have something to say and then I’ll write. but that doesn’t work (obviously). anyone who knows me in a real time, real life manor knows that I have plenty to say. not that that means I have plenty to say that is worth listening to, but hey, what bloggers do?
here I am in Miami. Kino and Tim and asana and heat and sand (and really attractive ashtangis).
It feels like the end of a very long summer. That “all american summer” that was promised me actually happened. There were harley davidson rides to the beach and bbqs and tattoos and beer pong and hiking and ukuleles (plural!) and summer love.
So what, exactly, did I learn this summer? oh you know, same same as I learned last time I looked back on my life. The universe keeps teaching me the same lessons over and over… be here now. love with all your heart. trust in god but lock up your bike.
and now I am in Miami. Back to where this blog started (you didn’t know it started here, did you?). working hard on projects in my practice that I never thought I would face. Not working on projects in my life that I need to take a break from.
I am not really sure when it happened, but somewhere in the last couple of years I caught up with myself. I became the person I thought I wanted to be.
I am happy with this person that I am. I have deliberately put myself is some hard situations to see what it would do to me. I have tried to create good situations and failed and learned a lot from the suffering that ensued. I practiced hard and remembered what I wanted in the first place. I found a new balance between extremes.
and I’m happy. I am so happy.
and sometimes I remember that I am still moving, still traveling. still a bit lonely and displaced. but I am also newly inspired to embrace the fact of my itinerant lifestyle and all that it offers. My life has so much space that I can fill with so many things. The things that once overwhelmed it have now fit into the corners (or squarely in the middle) leaving room for new things and new people to get packed in. and my life is finally a construction of my own mind and samskaras, not someone else’s.